Womanspeak is perhaps the most complicated language in the world. It’s full of undertones, shades and nuances that only a female of the human species understands, while men are left stumbling trying to decipher the code. Our advice is simple – never take anything a woman says for granted – always look for the hidden meaning. Here are some examples:

  1. ‘Nothing’ – This word, when uttered by a woman, has a totally reverse connotation. The more noncommittally it’s said, the deeper the opposite meaning. ‘Something’ is definitely up and it’s in your best interest to find out exactly what before disaster strikes.

2. ‘Go Ahead’ – *Warning* Do NOT go ahead! Don’t ever take this to construe that you’re getting permission to go watch a football match with your friends or enjoy a ‘guys night’. The lady’s actually throwing you a challenge, not one for the faint-hearted.

3. ‘It’s Okay’ – say again? It’s very probably not okay. It’s most possibly deeply upsetting, and the time to try and make amends is now. Get started with the damage control before she starts figuring out ways to punish you.

4. ‘It’s up to you’ – this is not ‘freedom of choice’ that you’ve been granted, it’s really a most gruesome trap. She’s already decided what your decision should be but won’t spill the beans. Get ready to play Russian Roulette.

5. ‘Thanks a lot’ – it’s all in the tone, if you pay close attention, which you should. That’s exasperation you’re hearing, not gratitude. You flunked again, meaning you’re not worthy of any task she gives you. She could have done it much better.

6. ‘What are you doing’ – note, there’s no question mark at the end, meaning it’s not a question. It’s a statement, a categorical one actually, declaring that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t bother explaining, the verdict has already been passed. All you can do is hope that mercy prevails, because after all, women are the ‘gentler sex’!