Shit, you actually like the taste of coffee! You’re not some George Clooney / Brad Pitt wannabe with your skinny ties and crisp white shirts; you genuinely like the taste of coffee… Respect!
You live your life with the view that ‘one’ is never quite enough… One mother, one father, one wife — that shit just ain’t for you! You’d much rather prefer to double-down and keep things interesting.
Clearly that g of blow you were doing all-night wasn’t enough to keep you going… You need something strong. Strong like a bear! Chances are you also suffer from very bad coffee-breath.
Let’s be honest Cappuccino-drinkers… The real appeal behind this hot caffeinated beverage is the foam. It reminds you of clouds… Where you prefer to live, while the rest of us down here grab our coffees to-go and get on with life in the real world!
You have NO idea what you’re drinking, but you like the way it sounds: “Mac-chia-to”. You’ve just recently upgraded from doodh-patti and thought ordering one of these would make you sound more sophisticated.
Well, somebody’s a Zoolander fan? “Orange Mocha Frappuccinooooooos!” You clearly have problems… But it’s okay. You have good friends, good looks, and most importantly $12 to throw away on a blended coffee! Things could be worse…
You don’t know jack about coffee, but boy do you love you some chocolate! If you had things your way you’d smear it on everything – chocolate pasta, chocolate pizza, chocolate paratha… You need to MAN UP!
You’re a person of impeccable taste (as this is what the writer of this article prefers too). So you like your coffee a little diluted with milk… at least you’re not drinking Mochas!
You don’t know much about your coffee… Or yourself for that matter… You’re still developing a personality. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…” See? If you were a REAL coffee drinker you’d totally get that reference!
You never really grew up, did you? “Mommyyyyy, this drink is too hot!” On the plus side, at least you’re getting one of your eight glasses of water-a-day drinking that watered-down bullshit.