It turns out actor Johnny Depp is not too good at playing a real-life (dog) smuggler. Depp and his wife Amber Heard had to eat humble pie recently, courtesy of the Australian government, when they appeared together in a video to issue a public apology.

The couple had been charged last year for trying to smuggle in their two Yorkshire terriers into Australia when they arrived on a visit. On Monday, the court spared them a conviction, but the video was Australia’s way of making sure such crimes are not repeated, and who better to send the message across the world than the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ star.

The communist-regime style Depp-starring video has created an international furore – a sombre, stone-faced Depp and wife ‘admitting’ their guilt and ‘praising’ Australia, its people and its government’s stringent customs laws – so the objective of getting across the message that Australian laws are not to be tampered with has been successful.

The same can’t be said of Depp’s performance, though. It could be because the script written by the Aussies didn’t give him much room to play around with. He comes across as decidedly wooden. According to Barnaby Joyce, Australia’s Agriculture Minister, Depp looks as grim as if he’s “auditioning for The Godfather”.

Well, if you want to see the Johnny Depp sparks fly, you’ve gotta pay for it.

For a free performance, what else d’you expect?!